American School Shooters Still Not as Efficient as Rest of World

[caption id="attachment_121" align="alignright" width="250" caption="Is this the face of a killer? Yeah, I guess so"][/caption]

Written by Jimmy Wellington

Last Monday, a Minnesota student went on a killing spree in his high school, killing 9 and injuring 15. While he had a higher kill rate than the Columbine duo (13 killed between the two of them), politicians claim that American school shooters still lag behind the rest of the world.




In 2002, a German student killed 17 others before taking his own life. In 2001, 2 Kenyan student killed 67 students by setting a fire. Later in 2001, a 37 year old man killed 8 students with knives and injured 13 others in a Japanese school.

Americans Relieved Tsunami All Taken Care Of

Written by Jimmy Wellington

According to a poll conducted by The Fake News, the tsunami disaster that was all over the news several weeks ago has been erased from the public's mind. In its place are such important news items as Michael Jackson's trial, the American Idol competition, and Paris Hilton's cell phone getting hacked.

[caption id="attachment_128" align="alignright" width="300" caption="That's gonna leave a mark!"][/caption]

"Man, isn't it crazy that all this bad stuff keeps happening to that wonderful Paris Hilton?", said American housewife Christy Jennings. "First her home video gets stolen, now people are trying to get at her personal naked photos and phone numbers? If they don't stop whoever's responsible, soon the nude pictures and celebrity contacts I keep on my cell phone will be all over the internet!"