The Best of Page 2 - Part Two

Here is the second half of The Best of Page Two

Bitch Cited For Failure To "Get Out The Way" - Local bitch Janet Chiller was issued a ticket by police for failure to obey the rapper Ludacris as he instructer her to “Get Out The Way” in a club on Saturday. According to witnesses, the popular rap artist was attempting to make his way through the club, with Ms. Chiller obstructing his path. Mr. Ludacris asked her politely to “Move Bitch”, a request that she refused to obey. Obviously in the wrong, she was issued a ticket and will have to appear in court next week. Chiller ran afoul of the law a few years back when she refused a request to “Back ‘Dat Ass Up”, which resulted in 14 days of jail time. Ludacris could not be reached for comment, as his entourage said he was “too fucking stoned to speak”.

Woman Denies Possession of Vibrator - Clarice Jenkins, a housewife from Billings, Montana, refuted accusations leveled by her husband that a vibrator found in a drawer belonged to her. Robert Jenkins says that he “came home from work and accidentally bumped into her end table drawer. The resulting buzzing sound caused me to investigate further.” That was when the discovery of the vibrator occurred.

Mrs. Jenkins originally tried to say that the vibrator belonged to their 8 year old daughter, Lorraine. When that excuse was not believed, she then said that it came with the drawer and she had never bothered to throw it away. Finally she admitted that she may have purchased a “pregnancy free penis substitute”, but definitely not a vibrator.