Written by Harry Franklin: Heroin Diet Founder
Everywhere I go, people comment on how much thinner I look. It's probably due to the new diet that I'm on, actually one that I made up myself. I was sitting at home, eating a large pizza and drinking a case of beer, watching the movie Trainspotting. I noticed that Obi-Wan Kenobe and the guy from Hackers looked very thin in this movie. That was when the lightbulb in my head went off, it was because of the heroin that they were using in the movie!
Immediately, I called up my friend [drug dealer] Louis, and asked if he could provide me with some heroin, or smack as he called it. He agreed to help me out with my new diet and even gave me the first hit free!
I had tried other diets in the past, and have not been able to stick with it. The incredible addictive power of heroin makes this sticking point a thing of the past.
You're wondering if the heroin diet is easy to follow? It's a simple process actually: One hit in the morning, one hit in the afternoon, a sensible quarter of a sandwich for dinner, and voila! The great part about the plan is that it's completely customizable to anyone's schedule, say for example that you wake up in the middle of the night and have a newly increased commitment to following the diet, you can shoot up right then and there!
At the last family reunion I attended, my family was amazed at how much weight I had lost. Everywhere people were exclaiming such things as; "Where did the rest of you go?" and "Eat something damnit!"
Take it from me, Harry Franklin. I went from 298 pounds to 156 pounds on my 6'2" frame. And I feel great! [after I shoot up]
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