I signed up for match.com, an online personals site, because I've heard it's a good place to meet hot chicks. Ever since my wife left me for that professional wrestler last year, I've been lonely and need someone to cook for me, clean up around here, and have sex whenever I feel like it [after we're married].
[caption id="attachment_498" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Falwell swears he did not doctor this image"]
[/caption]So I registered, filled out my profile and posted a picture - so simple! Then it was time for me to fill out the search form so I could search for the type of person that I wanted to be with. Some of the options were a bit narrow. For example, where is "Aryan" for the ethnicity question? I don't want to be diluting my seed!
Another question I have is on the height section. Is this with or without shoes? My woman wouldn't leave the house, so I want to know how tall she is without them.
None of these women seem to value traditional morals and traditions as much as I'd like. Take this woman whose profile is entitle "littlebtch" for example. She says that she's looking for someone to "bang her silly" and that she's not looking for "commitment or any of that [expletive deleted]". First of all, what is she doing using language like that? Second of all, marriage outside of holy matrimony is just plain wrong!
I don't think that this is going to work out, maybe I'll find a better quality of women over at Yahoo Personals, or Hot or Not. I'll keep you posted.
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