Hate Email for "Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"

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Look. I don't know who Emily or Brian or Brad are and I'm sure this thing is just for laughs, but the person you put there as "Emily" is me and I don't appreciate you using me for your sick humor. Leave me the fuck alone, ok? Get a life and if you want to make people laugh, don't use other people you don't even know. I'm sure you don't realize it, but stuff like that may hurt other people. I'm also sure you don't care, but if no one has said anything, I figured someone should. Fuck you.

Kori

Our response:

My, My, that's some foul language for a lady. Maybe you should not focus on the internet, but rather a finishing school. I can recommend some, my older sister used to curse profusely and have sex with dogs, but after going to Madame Lenoir's Finishing School for Slutty Chicks, she is the epitome of a lady.

As to the content of your email, are you sure that this picture is of you? How can you be sure, when Photoshop was used so professionally to alter the image? Do you think you're the only girl that posts her picture online wearing a pink shirt lying down? I can show you 20 examples of a picture like that. Can you tell me that, Kori? See, your name isn't even Emily, it's Kory, of course that picture isn't of you.

Obviously, you are a big fan of the site, so I'll add you to the mailing list. Look at that, you didn't even have to ask! How's that for customer service?

Have a great day!

Jimmy - Editor

Her friend decided to hit Caps Lock and throw his hat in the ring:

YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER, YOU KNOW WHY I'M E-MAILING YOU, I'LL TELL YOU WHY BITCH, YOU EMBARRESSING MY FRIEND, I THINK YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING BOUT, MY FRIEND KORI, REMEMEBER HER????????? I KNOW YOU DO. WHO GIVES YOU THE MOTHER FUCKING RIGHT TO E-MAIL HER BACK SAYING ALL THIS BULLSHIT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY SOME SKUMBAG PUT HER MOTHER FUCKING PICTURE IN A SITE THAT DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH HER, AND THEN YOU THINKING YOU ALL HARD AND SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOUR SOME FUCKED UP EDITOR WITH A OLDER SISTER WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS MAD PROBLEMS IF YOU SAYING SHE A SLUT AND SHIT, AND WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR SISTER, NO ONE DOES AND YOU SHOULDNT BE PROUD ABOUT IT. BITCH YOU DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU MESSIN WIT, IF YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO MY FRIEND, SAY SOMETHING SMART NOT SOMETHING ALL IMMATURE BECAUSE YOU ACTIN STUPID AS HELL. AND IF YOU WANT TO COMPARE KORI WIT YOUR SISTER, DONT BE STARTING THAT SHIT SAYING YOUR SISTER IS ALL GREAT AND ALL BECAUSE SHE WENT TO SOME SLUT SCHOOL, OH NO, THATS MESSED UP BITCH. IF YOU WANT TO ADD SOMETHING TO YOUR SITE ABOUT MY FRIEND, SAY SOMETHING THATS TRUE AND POSTIVE NOT SOMETHING THATS SOME BS FUCKED UP SHIT.

Stop being so stupid immature and grow up alittle because what your doing is not funny its just crude you stupid jerk.

Can't it be both?  Obviously I had to defend my "sister's" honor:

Hmmmm...first of all, look over on the left side of your keyboard right above the shift key and below the tab key. There yet? It's called the Caps Lock button. If you push it, all the letters you type aren't big and angry looking. Writing in all caps makes it seem like you're yelling, and obviously you're not angry with me whatsoever.

Just where do you get off calling my sister a slut? You are coming dangerously close to slander, my friend. I might have to get our lawyer involved in this. If you apologize for calling my sister Sheniqua a slut, I might reconsider.

What school have you gone to? Obviously an Ivy League school, judging by your command of the English language. Are you familiar with the rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard, by chance? He is a wonderful writer and orator, and I wouldn't be surprised if you studied under him at Harvard.

I think I know exactly "who I be fucking wit". Obviously a highly educated scholar and a poet. Take care and have a great day!

Jimmy - Editor