Larry Flynt's Reply to "The Vagina Monologues": "The Dick Diatribes"

Hustler magazine owner and free speech activist Larry Flynt has commissioned a new play, set to debut in late May 2004. "The Dick Diatribes" is intended to be a counterpoint to Eve Ensler's play "The Vagina Monologues", which is a celebration of a woman's body, specifically the main sexual organ, long a topic of embarrasment for most women.

[caption id="attachment_437" align="alignright" width="300" caption="So I'm with this hooker, right?"][/caption]



In an interview with The New York Times, Flynt explained his motive behind the play:

"I think that Ensler broad was onto something. I mean, it's such a common thing for men to be ashamed of their bodies. Men are scared to talk about their penises, and it's not like they like to show other people or slap it against their sleeping friends' faces."

Reprinted below is an exerpt from the upcoming play.

What is the strangest thing your penis has ever done?

Businessman

One time I was watching MTV and a Britney Spears video came on. I believe it was Toxic, although I don't really remember the music too much, if you know what i mean. All the sudden my penis became very excited and actually unzipped my pants from the inside. It was like it had a mind of its own. I stood up without even realizing what I was doing, and my penis led me to the television. It slammed itself into the image of Ms. Spears over and over.

If there was one adjective that you had to pick to describe your cock, what would it be?

Record Store Owner

Definitely masochistic. I had just visited the Sports by Brooks site, and just totally abused my penis to the newest picture of Kim. My penis had barely had time to return to its normal, flaccid state when I glanced at another picture on the site, this time Vanessa. Before I knew what was happening, my dick was hard again and it actually jumped into my hand.

Flynt has stated that former comic giant Andrew Dice Clay is among those slated to appear in the opening run.