[caption id="attachment_795" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Matt Cooke in a rare action shot where he is not trying to end a player's career"]
[/caption]“I remember when my dad first took me to a Penguins game,” said 13 year old asshole Geoff Lawrence. “He told me how great Sidney Crosby and Alexei Malkin were, but when I saw Matt Cooke sucker punch a player, I knew whose jersey I wanted.”
For his part, Cooke acknowledges that he is just the latest in a long line of asshole NHL players.
“I used to be so jealous of Sean Avery,” Cooke says. “I mean, that guy could be a douchebag both in and out of the arena. It’s tough enough to be an asshole on the ice; it’s another thing to take that talent outside the arena.”
Lawrence beams when he tells about the time he met his idol.
“I waited outside for the team bus,” said Lawrence. “ I yelled his name and was totally surprised when he looked my way. I asked him to throw me a jersey. He did even better. He threw an elbow. I still have the three teeth he knocked out.”
