Passenger Sneaks Effective and Efficient Security System Through Airport Security

As fears over airport security are exacerbated by recent attempted attacks, security officials attempt to make the public feel that a trip to the airport is a reasonably safe venture. Because of this, the news of yet another security breach will surely raise cause Transportation Security Administration officials to increase their antacid intake.

[caption id="attachment_654" align="alignright" width="292" caption="She ain't packing bombs, but she's packing something dangerous, you know what I mean?"][/caption]

Yesterday, word began to leak of a security breach in which an unknown man concealed a working airport screening system in a false bottom of one of his suitcases. While such an incident seems difficult to believe because of the system's immense bulk, TSA officials have been quick to point out that A.) it was a very large suitcase and B.) screeners have never seen an effective and efficient security system.

"I found the extra compartment in his suitcase, but I ain't never seen one of them things before," said TSA worker Jim Lacee. "He said it was some kind of particle accelerator called the Large Apron Colander or something like that. He did look like he could be a scientist, so I let him go through. Plus, it was almost break time."