One Hot White Chick Injured in Tsunami Disasters (200,000 Asians Killed Too)

Written by Jake Novak

World reaction continues to pour in as relief efforts to help supermodel Petra Nemcova are increasing day by day. Meanwhile, officials say the fact that 200,000 non-supermodels were killed in the tsunami disaster is a tragedy too... but shouldn't take anything away from the fact that a super-fine White chick isn't feeling too well right now.









"There is so much we all want to do for Petra right now, because she is so hot and White and not one of the faceless, nameless little people who you usually see in this part of the world," said Betsy Mitchell, fund development co-coordinator for the Red Cross.

[caption id="attachment_169" align="alignright" width="450" caption="The attractive (and white) face of the tragedy"][/caption]

"And Petra's being so sweet," added Mitchell, "did you know that some of the food and candy she doesn't finish is going right into the trash heap where the other survivors are scrounging for food? She's such an angel even in her time of need!"

President George W. Bush snapped into action yesterday, naming his father and former President Bill Clinton to help the "Save Nemcova" effort.

"I knew my dad would be interested in helping Petra because she's a rich White chick, and we Republicans need to improve our poll numbers with rich White chicks," said a somber Bush at a news conference yesterday.

"And we all know why Bill was raring to go... good thing he hadn't heard ol' Petra had broken her pelvis before he volunteered, but from what I hear, a girl doesn't need her pelvis to keep ol' Bill "Lewinsky" Clinton happy, right Bill?"

The U.S. news media is also admirably focusing their coverage on a slightly-injured White supermodel, even when the temptation is to cover the hundreds of thousands of others who died and the millions of people still in danger.

"Sure, we could show the devastation in the villages 24/7 if we had to," said FOX News Chairman Roger Ailes, "but that's just the kind of bleeding heart liberal crap that sank CNN's ratings into the toilet! Even in a holocaust-like natural disaster, the American people want T & A!"

Nemcova herself is not giving any interviews, and is asking relief workers to search for her missing boyfriend Simon Atlee. But it's not likely anyone will try to look for him unless Nemcova can produce some pictures of him in a thong.