Just as it seemed things couldn't get much worse for the hundreds of thousands of tsunami victims, dozens of Hollywood celebrities have arrived in the region to "help" with the relief efforts.
[caption id="attachment_172" align="alignright" width="224" caption="Jerry's let himself go!"]
[/caption]"Well you know, I just came down here to see what I could do, maybe get a few cameras on me again," said aging former star Sylvester Stallone.
"To get noticed it was either come here or go on 'The Surreal World.' But being a life-time bed-wetter, that show really wouldn't do much for me!"
Jerry Lewis arrived in Indonesia Thursday, ready with some much-needed wisecracks for the seriously injured and dying.
"Hey I was looking for more exposure, but not this kind of exposure," Lewis snickered to a suffering pneumonia patient lying in his own filth.
"Let's face it, the whole 'Jerry's Kids' thing isn't working out anymore," complained Lewis. "The 'stars' I get for that crap-a-thon are looking more and more like a roll-call for the cast of denture cream commercials, than real entertainers. I needed a new hook."
Not all the locals were happy to see the comedian.
"That man Lewis is so annoying, and he's not even a star anymore," complained Indonesian tsunami victim Rizal Shahputra, "I mean I thought I was washed up, but he's really washed up.
Meanwhile, while most of the world reacted to the devastation with horror, several top Hollywood studio execs were overjoyed by the timing of the tsunami disaster.
"Can you believe this thing hit the day after Christmas, just when we need to promote our holiday Oscar contenders the most?" asked overjoyed new Paramount chief Brad Grey.
"I see Warners sent Leonardo DiCaprio to Thailand in a flash, using the lame 'he filmed The Beach' excuse when they know his words of mercy are gonna be worth about $1 million in free movie publicity. Too bad this thing hadn't hit this summer, or we could have had Jude Law and Nicole Kidman down there saving "Alfie" and "The Stepford Wives."
When told that actress Sandra Bullock has decided not to go to the disaster areas and will give a $1 million donation instead, Grey was surprised.
"Geez, talk about a chick who needs the face-time, but I guess she doesn't have a movie out right now, so just getting her name in the papers is probably worth it."
Stallone, Lewis, and DiCaprio were by no means alone. Several other celebrities are already in Thailand to save child tsunami victims from pedophiles. But local officials say they are not sure they want any help from R.Kelly, Paula Poundstone and Michael Jackson.
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