The Secret World of Political Alts

Many in the online community are familiar with the practice of using "alts," or an additional profile that the user logs in as to say things that they wouldn't want coming from their primary profile.  Additionally, people use alts to "troll" discussion forums or comment sections on websites, which is a practice in which the user makes a series of inflammatory statements meant only to provoke a strong reaction from the website's other users.

[caption id="attachment_188" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Just sayin'"][/caption]

In the last few years, unknown to most, these two trends have been making the transition from the internet to the real world.  While obviously false public personas like Stephen Colbert, Sasha Baron Cohen's "Borat," and Ann Coulter have inundated the airwaves, they never truly crossed over into the political world.  Until Decision 2008.

"Looking back on it, how can you not conclude that the 2008 Presidential campaign was just a series of practical jokes?" says celebrtiy internet trend consultant Rick the Analyst.  The Democrats nominated a black guy, whose middle name is Hussein.  I mean, come on!"

The aftermath of the Presidency of George W. Bush created a perfect environment for people wishing to enter the political realm for fun and practical jokes.  The economy was collapsing, the nation was in the middle of two wars which were beginning to look unwinnable and unendable, and real politicians didn't want to sully their reputation by being associated with the fallout.

Former rapper Humpty Hump, from the group Digital Underground, recalls his decision to create the alt Michael Steele, with the goal of taking over the Republican Party.  "You have to be careful," Hump said.  "I thought that they were going to ask follow up questions when I told them 'I don't do policy,' but fortunately, they didn't.  Gotta love today's journalist."

The most obvious alt was created by high school dropout and hair salon employee Rachel Rollins of North Dakota, who created the Sarah Palin alt in a midnight fit of creativity.  "I was just so sick and tired to death of seeing all those elite politicians telling me what I can and can't and shouldn't do," Rollins said.  "I thought to myself, 'Rachel, why don't you throw your cappuchino in that ring of politics and see what you can do?"

Rollins thought there was no way she could convince the real Sarah Palin to stay out of the race, but found it to be surprisingly easy.  "She was just so darn tired of the gotcha liberal mainstream MSM media putting everything she thinks under that telescope.  You bet she was happy to stay home and let me make all those speeches."

"I thought for sure once the media started digging, people would stop listening to me," said "Joe the Plumber."  "I mean, my name isn't Joe and I'm not licensed as a plumber, although in my defense, 'the' is a word."

Rick the Analyst says there's no end in sight for the alt trend in today's politics.  "You would have thought that after the disastrous end to his last term in the spotlight, it would be impossible to see a Newt Gingrich revival.  I have to hand it to Kenny Cohen, who has brought back the Gingrich persona and actually has people wanting him to be President.  It's quite remarkable."