Nation Refuses to Believe Warning of Impending Asteroid Impact Not “Best April Fool's Joke Ever”

As Friday, April 1^st progresses, an increasingly agitated and alarmed Obama administration is frantically trying to convince the public that an asteroid is heading towards Earth, and people need to act quickly to avoid the annihilation of the human race.

[caption id="attachment_805" align="alignright" width="300" caption="That's gonna leave a mark"][/caption]

The asteroid was first discovered at 2:00 this morning, when an observer at the Palomar Observatory saw an anomaly in the sky. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that the anomaly was a large asteroid traveling towards the planet's surface.

“I couldn't believe my eyes,” said Jim Ross, the observatory employee. “It's the type of event you prepare your whole life for, but hope never actually happens."

Ross's excitement turned to panic when he glanced at the calendar.

“You've got to be kidding me,” he remembers saying as he noticed that today was April Fool's Day, the one day set aside for trying to trick one's friends and family into believing lies.

Ross rang up his boss, who then informed his boss, who then informed the Obama administration that a potential asteroid impact was likely. Each had to spend at least 5-10 minutes convincing the person they were calling that they were not joking.

“I waited until Jim had told me about the asteroid,” said Nate Wilson, Ross's immediate supervisor. “Then, I waited ten seconds after screaming and cursing in surprise. When he didn't say 'April Fools!' I began to think he might be serious.”

Once the President learned of the potential impact, he acted quickly to warn Congress.

When Congress learned that President Obama wanted to figure out a way to stop the asteroid, they decided to back the asteroid.

“Maybe it's just misunderstood,” said Republican Senator Jim Inhofe. “There's a chance it could be playing an April Fool's Joke on us and is going to stop on its own. We don't want to look stupid.”

President Obama realized his mistake and addressed the nation with a new strategy to earn support.

“My fellow Americans,” he began, “We have learned that an asteroid is headed towards Earth. Scientists and NPR journalists say there is no chance it will damage the planet. The New York Times has reported that we don't even need to act at all.”

Minutes after President Obama ended his speech, House Majority Leader John Boehner issued a rebuttal.

“We must act swiftly, and with all available resources to keep this dangerous asteroid from slamming into our pristine planet. Do you trust scientists and journalists?” Boehner said.

Fox News contributor Sarah Palin said, “I think that President Obama using the word 'asteroid,' an obvious cheap reference to my backside, is incredibly insensitive.”

Palin referred reporters to her Facebook page for further comment.