Obama Pledges to Support Middle East Peace By Going Back to 1967 Haircut

President Obama raised many eyebrows in the American and Jewish media Thursday by saying a starting point for Israeli-Palestinian negotiations must start with the 1967 borders, a position shared by George W. Bush. He did, however, go one major step further than his predecessor and make this suggestion while black.

[caption id="attachment_836" align="alignright" width="220" caption="He listens to George Clinton too"][/caption]

The President attempted to quell the outrage by people who called his position unfair to Israel by saying he would support the process by going back to his 1967 haircut.

Even though he was only six years old, Obama had an afro that put Erykah Badu to shame, and he has released a photo (seen at right) that shows what he will look like when he lets his hair go back to its 1967 length.

World Net Daily founder Joseph Farah claims that the picture is actually not manipulated using Photoshop.

“This so-called ‘President’ is wearing a wig during his public appearances. He has been supporting Osama bin Laden by growing his hair long. We have an informant inside the White House who informs us that Osama, I mean Obama, is wearing a turban in the evenings in his bedroom.”

House Republicans say they will not accept the President’s new haircut until they see the certificate of long hair.

Glenn Beck pointed out on his chalkboard that HAIRCUT might stand for Hate America and Israel, Respect Communism and Unite Terrorists.

Sarah Palin responded to media inquiries by using Twitter to refer reporters to her Facebook page.

 

American Corporations Lining Up For Prime Advertising Space on Israeli Wall

When the Israelis announced their plans to build a large wall protecting them from the Palestinians, many claimed that it was outrageous. But American corporations saw a golden opportunity.

"Where else can you find a canvass so big on which to paint your tasteful, yet bold marketing strategy?", said a spokesman for the men's magazine Penthouse.

Israeli leaders have been worried about where they would get the money for the monumental project, but apparently the answer lies in good old capitalism.

Interestingly enough, German based corporation Volkswagen has paid the most for advertising space, a fact which angered many Israelis, although they were pacified by finding out that the cost for the wall would not have to come out of their pockets. To the consternation of some older Israelis, according to the agreement, they would have to wear small, golden VW symbols on their clothes.

Israel announced that they would build the wall as a protection against terrorist attacks by Palestian terror groups. Palestians counter that the wall violates their inherent right to drive up to a group of Israeli school children and blow themselves up. The ACLU has been meeting with Palestinian leaders about a possible appeal to the UN.