New Jersey to Outsource High School Teaching to Students

Because of looming budget cuts and potential drastic state-wide teacher layoffs, school districts are looking for ways to continue providing students with an education while watching the bottom line. Some districts are trying to think creatively and ensure their students are not shortchanged by potential staffing changes. If teachers are laid off, class sizes will grow, leading to a more difficult learning environment, especially for less-abled learners. One New Jersey district, however, has come up with an inventive way to overcome these obstacles.

[caption id="attachment_698" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Schools can't even afford real black for the blackboard.""][/caption]

Johnsonian High School sits atop a hill, surrounded by lush meadows. From the outside, it looks like any other high school. Upon entering, it soon becomes clear it is much different than any high school you’ve ever seen. In classroom C-395, the students are working in small groups, engaged in their activity, yet a teacher is nowhere to be found.

The high school is experimenting with a new form of cooperative learning. Generally, cooperative learning means that students work in groups to help each other learn new information, with a teacher’s guidance. Johnsonian Superintendent John Johnie thought that the approach could be streamlined further: “If students are helping each other learn, is the teacher really involved? Can’t we find some more cost-effective way of allowing students to help each other learn? I wrestled with those questions for several minutes, and then found a better way.”

Johnie’s idea was to go even further than any educational researcher had dared and eliminate the teacher from the classroom altogether. Instead of paying a teacher a yearly salary, students are paid based on how well they do on their tests. A student, who asked to remain anonymous, said, “The administrators providing the tests have no clue about literature, math, science, whatever. They just give us tests they found on the internet. It takes us about three minutes to find the test using our iPhones, and then someone outside the camera’s view shouts out the answers to the rest of the class. I want to be a student forever.”

NYC Wins US Olympic Bid, San Francisco Settles For Gay Pride Parade - Again

Bringing an end to a competition that enraptured the many American sports fans that actually care about the Olympics, the United States Olympic Committee announced New York City as their choice for the American city to compete against other cities worldwide for the 2012 Summer Olympics, beating out San Francisco.

[caption id="attachment_481" align="alignright" width="281" caption="The USOC's New Logo"][/caption]

The deciding factor in their decision was New York's decision to spend whatever was needed to create an Olympiad that would reflect America's vast superiority over the rest of the world, according to an USOC insider speaking from his cell phone inside his new Ferrari, one of a fleet that mysteriously appeared at the USOC headquarters.

International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge appeared to be enthusiastic about New York's chances to be chosen as the host city for the 2012 Olympic Games. "I'm a 36 long, and a size 12 shoe. My favorite color for automobiles is red."

San Francisco mayor Ross Carter tried to remain upbeat, though he was obviously disappointed with the committee's decision. "Well, we still have the Gay Pride parade to look forward to, which is always a big deal. We like to see ourselves as a city that embraces every lifestyle, something that we thought would sway the vote in our favor. Unfortunately that was not the case. It appears a little green is more important than a vibrant, growing, accepting community."