NYC Wins US Olympic Bid, San Francisco Settles For Gay Pride Parade - Again

Bringing an end to a competition that enraptured the many American sports fans that actually care about the Olympics, the United States Olympic Committee announced New York City as their choice for the American city to compete against other cities worldwide for the 2012 Summer Olympics, beating out San Francisco.

[caption id="attachment_481" align="alignright" width="281" caption="The USOC's New Logo"][/caption]

The deciding factor in their decision was New York's decision to spend whatever was needed to create an Olympiad that would reflect America's vast superiority over the rest of the world, according to an USOC insider speaking from his cell phone inside his new Ferrari, one of a fleet that mysteriously appeared at the USOC headquarters.

International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge appeared to be enthusiastic about New York's chances to be chosen as the host city for the 2012 Olympic Games. "I'm a 36 long, and a size 12 shoe. My favorite color for automobiles is red."

San Francisco mayor Ross Carter tried to remain upbeat, though he was obviously disappointed with the committee's decision. "Well, we still have the Gay Pride parade to look forward to, which is always a big deal. We like to see ourselves as a city that embraces every lifestyle, something that we thought would sway the vote in our favor. Unfortunately that was not the case. It appears a little green is more important than a vibrant, growing, accepting community."