[caption id="attachment_782" align="alignright" width="233" caption="I wrote it down for you. It's right there! "]
[/caption]“What part of neither the day, nor the hour of my second coming is so hard to get?” said Jesus Christ, as he ripped up another calendar. “It’s right there. If you miss it in Matthew, keep reading, cause it’s in Mark too! I mean Me-dammit!”
According to the Bible, humans are not able to predict the day or time of the Rapture, an eagerly awaited event by evangelical Christians. On this day, believers in Christ will be raptured—taken—from Earth to begin their eternal life with their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
This event has been eagerly awaited since Christ was crucified over two thousand years ago. According to the story, he came back to life after three days and ascended into heaven after promising to return.
He must, however, time his return for a date which nobody can guess, according to Matthew 25:13 – “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.”
“First I was going to come back in 1988, but some guy figured it out and started selling books,” said Christ. “He even had 88 reasons. Of course he was right, but once he guessed it, I had to reschedule. It’s like the book Catch-22: Once someone guesses it, it’s no longer right.”
