What if Sarah Palin Gave FDR's Pearl Harbor Speech?

Hi, Mr. Vice President.  Hi, Mr. Speaker.  Hi, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives.  And, Hi, America!

[caption id="attachment_312" align="alignright" width="181" caption="This is Sarah Palin's serious face"][/caption]

Yesterday, December the 7^th, was a pretty crappy day, excuse my language.  For those of you that don't remember, those Japanese people bombed one of our patriotic military bases and attacked a lot of people who are fighting for our freedoms.

Before that, we liked Japan.  They helped us with another vantage point of Russia.

But, get a load of this, America!  After those fighter planes bombed our brave, patriotic men and women protecting our freedoms, a politician from Japan met with our Receptionist of State and gave us a message.  They didn't say anything about the attack!  Can you believe it?

Now, everybody knows that Japan is pretty far from Hawaii.  Imagine how long it would take to drive there!  We know that they must have been cooking this up for quite some time, let me tell you!  While they were doing the planning, they were telling us that they wanted peace.  I don't know about you, but talking about peace while dropping bombs is pretty darn hypocritical.  In Alaska, we would say that the Japanese are talking out both sides of their eyes.

I'm not going to lie to you, we lost a lot of brave Real Americans yesterday.  In addition, we also lost a lot of fine ships.  These ships were in Pearl Harbor and also out in other waters.

They did not just attack us.  They attacked a bunch of other places.

I don't know about you, but I think that the Japanese are not sincere about their promises of peace.

As the leader of our patriotic armed forces, I am doing everything I can to keep this from happening again.  And we will never forget what happened as long as we live and until our dying day.

We cannot sit here and lick our wounds like a wolf shot from a helicopter.  We must go on the offensive and attack.

These people are our enemies, there's no getting around it.  They've attacked us and I won't let them attack us again.

Fortunately, God is watching over us and he is on our side.  We will fight them together, and we will win.

So, Congress.  We need to go to war and I'd like you to make that happen.  Please let me know how it turns out.  God Bless you and God Bless America!