8. Jennifer Aniston – This one is tough. I want to like Jennifer Aniston. I liked her in Friends. She seems like a likeable person. Yet, there's a problem. She's on at least one magazine cover every time I go to the supermarket. But, it's not just that. It's always a variation of "Jen: True Love, Finally!" and "Jen: Heartbroken After xxxxxx Dumps Her!" This repeats anew every so often, typically when she has a movie coming out. This leads me to believe that I have successfully mapped the Jennifer Aniston dating cycle.
1. Jennifer Aniston meets a guy and he decides to go out on a date with her, which is completely natural, because she is, after all, very attractive and seems to be a nice person.
2. They go out on one date. The guy has a very nice time and plans to see her again.
3. Her publicist calls every magazine and tells them all about the date, providing exclusive information to each magazine.
4. Every magazine prints some variation of "Jen and xxxxx: True Love!" or "Finally, Jen Hears Wedding Bells!" or "Jen and xxxxxx Moving In Together?"
5. The guy freaks out and says to himself, "No amount of attractiveness is worth this headache."
6. The guy tries to extricate himself from the situation. The manner in which he accomplishes this provides the only variety in the cycle.
7. Since any publicity is good publicity, Aniston's publicist contacts every magazine and tells them all about the breakup, providing exclusive information to each magazine.
8. Every magazine prints some variation of "Jen: Heartbroken!" or "Heartbreak Again for Jen!"
9. Jennifer Aniston meets a guy and he decides to go out on a date with her, which is completely natural, because she is, after all, very attractive and seems to be a nice person.
Don't believe me? Wait for her next movie to come out.
Come back tomorrow for Number 7!
List so far:
10. Annoying Facebook Behavior
9. The Snuggie
8. Jennifer Aniston
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