6. Glenn Beck – I'm becoming increasingly convinced that Glenn Beck is Stephen Colbert without the winking nod, an Andy Kaufman for our time. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to pretend that he believes what he says, and is either out to make money off of dupes or is the greatest IRL troll of our generation.
For the time being, I'm going to go along with the notion that he's serious. His inclusion on the list represents not only him, but other talk radio and Fox News personalities, like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter – The Axis of Idiocy.
A problem arises because it's difficult to put these people into the same category. For example, I think Sean Hannity truly believes what he says. He has had brain surgery to turn off the part of his brain that stops your mouth from moving when you know you're saying something that makes no sense. Ann Coulter, however, says whatever she feels will cause the most controversy and make her the most money. The level of idiocy is comparable, but the intent is different. But, even with all this competition, Glenn Beck has emerged as the group's Cryer-in-Chief.
Glenn Beck's latest book is called "Arguing With Idiots," for which I'm shocked Ann Coulter is not suing, since she has written books titled "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans" and "How To Talk To a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter." This is one of the group's most annoying characteristics. If you disagree with them, you're an idiot. If you're a liberal (which has come to mean "don't follow lockstep with every position"), you're an idiot. And if these super-intelligent people are going to deign to talk to you, they must use certain protocols, so your lower-evolved, I mean less-intelligently-designed, brain can comprehend the lessons they are teaching you.
The truth is not important, and facts are to be used when convenient. The narrative is the important part, and is based less on facts than on fear. The idea is for you to become afraid of everything that happens, because if they are pointing out the "problem," it would follow that they should know the solution. Of course, the problems are invented, which means their solutions are irrelevant.
Beck is on this year's list because he embodies the worst of this type of entertainment. When President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, I wrote a story about it that concluded with the following parody of how Beck would cover the news on his show. Sadly, I would not have been surprised if he actually said this on the show.
“Now, you see here on this board I’ve written NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. Seems pretty harmless, right? Well, what happens when you take the letters BEL and flip them? NOLEB PEACE PRIZE. What if I add a space? NO LEB PEACE PRIZE. Take away the P? NO LEB PEACE RIZE. Add in one, just one, comma and exclamation point. NO LEB PEACE, RIZE! Is this a call to arms for the people of Lebanon? Is this saying that Hezbollah should continue to attack our friend and ally Israel? If President Obama accepts this award, is he siding with people who want to attack our allies? Is he supporting terrorism? Some people say so, and we’ll talk to them later.”
Come back tomorrow for Number Five!
List so far:
10. Annoying Facebook Behaviors
9. The Snuggie
8. Jennifer Aniston
7. Balloon Boy
6. Glenn Beck
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