"Ground Zero Mosque" Protesters Have Difficulty Locating Protest Site

As more and more Americans hear about the plans to build a mosque on the hallowed, sanctified ground where the World Trade Center towers once stood, many become outraged and want to do something to stop it. Every day since conservative commentators have made this story among the most talked about nationwide, throngs of protesters have descended upon lower Manhattan, many carrying signs, most surprisingly grammatically correct, that question the wisdom of building an Islamic place of worship so close to the site of the worst terrorist attack in American history. The number of protesters who arrive at the site is much smaller than the number who intend on protesting, according to opponents of the building. You see, many of these patriots are traveling to “Ground Zero” and cannot locate the proposed building site.

[caption id="attachment_737" align="alignright" width="300" caption="They're always after me lucky bombs!"][/caption]

“It’s easy to find Ground Zero, but we weren’t sure on what side of Ground Zero this travesty is being planned,” said Russell Garrison, factory worker and Glenn Beck viewer, who journeyed from Ohio to protest the construction. “We heard that they already had a giant Batman-like light that projected a giant star and crescent into the night sky, but we couldn’t see anything like that.”

Many would-be protesters are under the assumption that the building is being built at Ground Zero, probably because pundits have been calling the planned community center the “Ground Zero Mosque.” In the same way that Joe the Plumber wasn’t actually a licensed plumber and was not named Joe, the building is not located at Ground Zero, nor is it technically a mosque. Sure, a mosque is part of the community center, but most people do not say they are going to the bathroom to work out, even though their local gym has several bathrooms included inside the building.

Expert quitter Sarah Palin has not helped matters, going so far as calling the building the “9/11 Mosque” on her Facebook page, which is the center of her political multi-media empire. The former governor of Alaska uses social networking sites to put out policy messages, believed by any who has heard her speak to be ghost written by staffers. Rational people have mocked this approach, although many say that “she puts the ‘Twit’ in Twitter.”

While many protestors are having trouble finding the proposed building site, other problems are arising from misinformation. For example, four college students planned to burn boxes of Lucky Charms once they realized that the popular breakfast cereal contains by yellow moons and orange stars, which can be combined to produce the crescent moon, a symbol of Islam.

When asked for comment, Sarah Palin referred reporters to her Facebook page, where she had just posted a piece called “Burlington Jihad Factory – More Than Great Coats, Death to America”