President Obama Announces Regime Change For Exxon

Prior to President Obama addressing the nation from the Oval Office at 8PM EDT on Tuesday, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced a bold step in the Gulf oil leak saga: The United States government is seizing all assets owned by the Exxon corporation and investigating all top-level employees.

[caption id="attachment_728" align="alignright" width="300" caption="It's just a matter of time until Exxon strikes again. Can we take that chance?"][/caption]

“Believe me, we are not taking our eye off of BP, but intelligence analysis shows that Exxon poses a clear and present danger to our nation’s waterways,” said Gibbs. “They’ve shown a propensity to leak oil into America’s waters, and we feel it necessary to stop them before they do it again. We don’t want the smoking gun to be an oil plume.”

This bold move comes after pressure from the media and Republican politicians and pundits has been mounting on Obama’s administration to do something to make it look like they are doing something so that the media, politicians, and pundits can criticize whatever it is they are doing and ask why they are not doing something else. For example, Sean Hannity has been critical of Obama’s handling of the oil leak, although it must be said that Sean Hannity has been known to be critical of Obama’s choice of socks for state dinners. The Fox News host has been asking about a reported intelligence memo that BP was planning to spill oil into the Gulf of Mexico, which was ignored by the administration. Hannity claims his source is unimpeachable and is the same source that broke the Michelle Obama “Whitey tape” story during the campaign.

Ten Things That Made Me Want to Stick My Head in an Oven This Year - #6. Glenn Beck

6. Glenn Beck – I'm becoming increasingly convinced that Glenn Beck is Stephen Colbert without the winking nod, an Andy Kaufman for our time. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to pretend that he believes what he says, and is either out to make money off of dupes or is the greatest IRL troll of our generation.

For the time being, I'm going to go along with the notion that he's serious. His inclusion on the list represents not only him, but other talk radio and Fox News personalities, like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter – The Axis of Idiocy.

A problem arises because it's difficult to put these people into the same category. For example, I think Sean Hannity truly believes what he says. He has had brain surgery to turn off the part of his brain that stops your mouth from moving when you know you're saying something that makes no sense. Ann Coulter, however, says whatever she feels will cause the most controversy and make her the most money. The level of idiocy is comparable, but the intent is different. But, even with all this competition, Glenn Beck has emerged as the group's Cryer-in-Chief.