George Bush Relieved To Be Re-Elected

American leader George W. Bush announced on Wednesday that he was relieved to still be president following the elections of November fifth.

[caption id="attachment_369" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Bush: This is what a housey looks like!"][/caption]

"I'm glad that the American people went to the polls yesterday and made their voices heard. They were loud and clear in their support for a Republican run government, as well as their desire to have myself as the point man for that government, if you will. I will do my best to prove that the American people have made a wise choice by re-electing me as your President."

At that point, President Bush opened the floor to questions from the White House Press Corps. An excerpt follows.

Keith Washington: New York Post - "So, Mr. President. First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your re-election, you must be very proud."

President Bush - "Why are you snickering, Keith?"

KW - "Sorry Mr. President, I just remembered a joke that Christiane Amanpour told me yesterday. Back to my question. Can you say a few words about your opponent in this election?"

President Bush - "I honestly don't know who I was running against, I told my staff that I didn't want to know who my opponent was, since I decided to run based on the issues. I was proud that I didn't run any negative ads in this election, for I think that we should move away from that, and focus more on the issues."

Shari Jackson - "To what do you attribute the lack of media coverage in this Presidential Election?"

President Bush - "I try not to read the papers, or watch news programs on television. In fact, I'm pretty much out of the loop on anything related to domestic or foreign policy. Sometimes Condy [Rice] lets me sign stuff."

During the press conference Ari Fleischer and Colin Powell were seen doubled over in laughter, barely able to speak.