Tonight, two candidates chosen by millionaires will meet at Hofstra University in an attempt to convince undecided voters to choose them on November 6th. As a valuable public service, here is a primer on what to expect.Barack Obama:
- Following Joe Biden's successful turn in the debate spotlight, the President will attempt to steal some of that "Biden magic" by wearing Biden's dentures.
- The President will wait until after the debate to take his Ambien.
- Obama is taking a page from Romney's book and has been practicing some "zingers." These include: "That might fly on Planet Kolob, but on Earth we rely on facts." "Bipartisanship is not when you promise both sides what they want." and "I told my daughter Malia about your job plan. Oh, how she laughed."
Mitt Romney
- Expect Romney to announce he is now running as a Democrat.
- Will give thanks to his favorite god, Janus, in his opening statement.
- In an attempt to avoid looking like he is rude, will say "excuse me" while talking over the moderator.
