WTF, Google News?

[caption id="attachment_1762" align="alignright" width="385"] Well, if the interwebs says it's true...[/caption]

Every day, ok fine, about ten times a day, I check Google News to see what's happening in the world. Apparently, the people running the service don't see anything wrong with running opinion pieces in the same section as news pieces with no distinction. You can see in the screenshot that an opinion piece with the headline: "Romney, Ryan lack character" is listed under regular news stories.

Now one would imagine that people would read that and realize that the article is an opinion piece. That doesn't absolve Google News from their obligation to say so. This story is more clearly opinion that others that have appeared without an opinion label attached, but those others are more troubling. People who scroll through quickly are going to see these headlines presented in the same way as other, factual ones.

The most frustrating thing is that it can't be a hard fix. Google must not really think it's important. Do you?

The NHL's real priorities: LOCKOUT edition

Pilot pitches for next season

Pilot pitches for next season:

Cupcake Whores: When their business fails, how can they make money when all they know is baking and fondant?

The Red Badge of Narcissism: Bob telecommutes, and after a particularly bad date, decides to only communicate with the outside world through Facebook.

Minaj a Trois: Nicki Minaj plays all three roommates in a sitcom that takes place inside her head.

The NHL lockout in pictures

Free advice for the DNC

As many tweets pointed out last Thursday, Clint Eastwood's discussion with an empty chair was a perfect visualization for this year's Republican campaign. The "Eastwooding" meme spread quickly throughout the internet, giving the Obama campaign a perfect opportunity to capitalize on a pre-existing cultural touchstone.

Here's how.

One of the speeches leading up to President Obama's on Thursday night should be the following. Bring out the empty chair. Address each one of the lies that the Republicans have been telling about Obama's record, then respond with the truth. Here's an example:

"Republicans have been spending millions of dollars on ads that tell you all about a President they invented. You saw Clint Eastwood talking to him a week ago. You can't see him because he doesn't exist. The Republicans know that they can't run against President Obama's real record, so they have invented "Invisible Obama.

"The Republicans will tell you that Invisible Obama cut the work requirements from the welfare programs because he wants welfare recipients to do nothing for their check. That's a lie. The real President Obama worked with governors to allow them to change requirements to INCREASE the ability of welfare recipients to work.

"The Republicans will tell you that Invisible Obama hates the public sector, and has worked to sabotage private sector job growth. That's a lie. Under the real President Obama, job growth in the private sector has increased at a faster rate than it did under President George W. Bush."

And so on, and so on, and so on.

You're welcome.

Why isn't "conservative comedy" funny?

With rare exception (I despise Rush Limbaugh as a person, but some of the parody songs he plays on his show are hilarious), "Conservative comedy" just isn't funny. I think I've figured out why, so here goes.

Ultimately, comedy is based in truth. Comedians see the truth in a way that "normal" people don't. Comedy reveals the underlying truth to people, helping them to accept it by making it funny. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, if you will. Carlin, Hicks, Louis CK, these people expose the dark underbelly of society in a way that is uncomfortable, which is why they need to make it funny. They're not lecturing us, they're letting us in on the secret, making the implicit explicit.

Today's conservative movement is deluded. By conservative movement, I mean the modern GOP, not individual conservatives, many of whom disagree with today's GOP. Look at the number of bald-faced lies made in RNC convention speeches. Several cases can be made for showing Obama the door (although I think they are all invalid if the replacement is the current GOP). If actual arguments exist for their side, why does the GOP continue to invent arguments?

I have theories, but I'll save them for another time.

The reason "conservative comedy" doesn't work is because it's not based on the truth. Hurr Hurr Teleprompter! Any reasonably intelligent person who thinks about a teleprompter joke for a moment sees the lie. Would someone who relies on a teleprompter do well at a debate? Oh, he wouldn't? Then how come Obama outperformed McCain at the debates? Oh...it's bullshit, isn't it?

So, if you want to know why conservative comedy doesn't work, remember that last week, a national party built a convention on an out-of-context statement that anyone with half a brain can see through. A convention built on lies? Congratulations, Republicans. You DID build that.