Debut Single - My Grandma Got Put Down By Obama

For all 3 of you who were waiting for this, here ya go!  The anthem of the teabaggers.

http://jimmywellington.com/obamasong2.mp3

My Grandma got put down by Obama
I can’t believe that we were so naive
You say there’s no such thing as Death Panels.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Yes, Sarah Palin tried to save us

With a nod, a smile and wink

But thanks toCharlie’s gotcha questions

Her career in politics is on the brink

With help from her friends Rush and Glenn Beck
She’s telling us just how we were deceived
She can see through facts and logic
To tell Real America what to believe

My Grandma got put down by Obama
I can’t believe that we were so naive
You say there’s no such thing as Death Panels.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

This is not the country I know
I thought we all were meant to get our say
Our Founding Fathers must be wond’ring
Since when’s Hawaii a state anyway?

We aired our grievances at town halls
Called our representative a whore
We wouldn’t listen to their answers
We just shouted shouted ’til we passed out on the floor

My Grandma got put down by Obama
I can’t believe that we were so naive
You say there’s no such thing as Death Panels.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

We all should have seen this coming
But Obama’s halo blinded us
We all wanted hope and change
Instead my dear Grandma was turned to dust

It’s not Christmas without Grandma.
In fact we can’t say “Christmas” anymore
Please find a hiding place for Grandpa
Obama’s jackboot thugs are at the door

My Grandma got put down by Obama
I can’t believe that we were so naive
You say there’s no such thing as Death Panels.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

My Grandma got put down by Obama
I can’t believe that we were so naive
You say there’s no such thing as Death Panels.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

But as for Michelle Bachmann, she believes.

But as for Sarah Palin, she believes.

President of MTV "Freezes" While Kanye West Terrorizes VMAs

Seemingly taking a cue from Congressman Joe Wilson, Kanye West violated the sacred decorum usually associated with the Video Music Awards when he took Taylor Swift's microphone while she was giving her acceptance speech last night.  West went on to complain that singer Beyonce deserved the honor, only to be greeted with a chorus of boos from the audience.

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While this was happening, many were wondering why West was allowed to take to the stage so easily.  Why did the broadcast not cut to commercial?  This morning, the answer to those questions became clear.

VMA host Russell Brand, "I wanted to go to commercial, but a decision that drastic had to be deferred to the President, Van Toffler.  I tried to reach him as soon as we realized what was happening.  We saw Kanye making his way to the stage.  Toffler gave us no response, he just froze."

At the time, Toffler was giving a speech to other MTV executives.  A witness describes the scene in the room as: "Total silence.  Someone came in the room and whispered in his ear that Kanye West had just taken the microphone from Taylor Swift.  He just looked stunned, then he went back to reading from his report.  He told us after that he didn't want people to panic."

Toffler could not be reached for comment.

Brand is upset that more wasn't done to prevent a Kanye attack.  "We received intelligence that Kanye West was planning on attacking the awards with douchebaggery, but nobody paid attention to it.  We even knew to focus on the stage, because Kanye would want to maximize his audience.  This situation could have easily been prevented.  It's not like he hasn't done this before."

Comedian Mike Myers agrees that more should be done to prevent future Kanye West attacks.  "When he said 'George Bush doesn't care about black people' you saw the shock on my face.  I was caught completely off guard.  We should know better now.  We should have learned.  I know I'll never forget."

Concerned Parent Recommends Pulling Children From al-Gebra Classes Due to Fears of Indoctrination

While Barack Obama's speech to America's children has been written about in newspapers and discusses on news commentary shows, a Morristown man has been trying to raise awareness of an issue he feels is even more important.

[caption id="attachment_268" align="alignright" width="300" caption="The Qu'ran is in here, I just know it!"][/caption]

"I'm not one of those crazy folk who thinks that Barack Obama is going to come out and openly attempt to indoctrinate our children with his Muslim socialist fascist views," said Kyle Newton, a parent.  "I think that he, and people like him, are going to be much more subtle."

Newton believes he has figured it out, thanks to a tip from a friend, who was taking a world religion course at a local community college.

"He was telling me all about the different contributions that the arabs have made to our culture," Newton said.  "He's a nice guy, so I figured I'd humor him and pretend to be interested.  I could hardly hide my shock when he told me that the arabs invented algebra.  I thought I had to turn to a reliable source before I believed that nonsense."

After looking on Wikipedia, Newton says he was convinced.