Gibson "Passion" Shocker: Carbs Killed Christ!

Mel Gibson has been under criticism for some time due to his new film on the last hours of Jesus, called "The Passion of the Christ". Jewish leaders are up in arms, saying that "The Passion" is anti-semetic, in that it shows Jews killing Jesus.

[caption id="attachment_447" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Your salvation: Sponsered by Dr. Atkins"][/caption]



Today, word leaked that the real shocker to the story, has nothing to do with Jews, but rather carbohydrates, which clinical studies have shown to be the source of all that is unhealthy in today's Americans.

According to the film, Christ was devoted not only to being the savior of the human race, but also to Dr. Atkins, the man behind the diet craze "The Atkins Diet", which preaches ingestion of large amounts of protein and small amounts of carbohydrates.

The movie reveals that Christ did not die according to the age-old belief that he was nailed to a large wooden cross, but rather by a ham and cheese sandwich, in much the same way as another larger than life figure, Mama Cass.

Gibson claims that a newly unearthed biblical passage from the gospel of John is the basis behind this revelation.

John 18:30 - "And Judas Iscariot, a trusted disciple of Christ offered up to him a ham and cheese sandwich, with lettuce and mayonnaise. And Jesus saw that it was good. "But Judas, I cannot eat this. There are carbs." And verily Judas waved his hand in front of of Christ's face and said, "these are not the carbs you speak of. This is a fish fillet." And Jesus' eyes were clouded by the hand of Satan working through the traitor Judas. And he ate. And the skies opened and the clouds came forth and later Jesus had a heart attack, slipped on some ice and died.