Saturday, September 04, 2004

Bush Promises “No Negative Advertising Against John Edwards and His Fatass Wife”

Written by Jimmy Wellington

With campaign season heating up, both parties are running advertising in key states that both support their candidacy for the White House, and attack their opponents. However, thus far in our nation, there is a line of decency that neither side have crossed, and President Bush promises that tradition will continue.









“I promise that I will not target John Edward’s fat ass wife in any of our advertisements. I will not call attention to the Democratic strategists’ borrowing of the Lane Bryant ‘Kirstie Alley’ plan, by hiding Elizabeth Edwards behind strategically placed pillows, tables, and tractor trailers.”, the President said Wednesday.

[caption id="attachment_149" align="alignright" width="360" caption="Hey, just saying."]Hey, just saying.[/caption]

“You, the American People will not hear me refer to Mrs. Edwards using words such as ‘heffer’, ‘sow’, ‘obese-American’, ‘blubberiffic’, ‘tons-of-fun’, or the ‘Notorious VP’s Wife’.

“Furthermore, I will not use phrases such as ‘save some food for the rest of us’, ‘put the fork down’, or ‘step away from the buffet’”.

When John and Elizabeth Edwards appeared on Larry King’s talk show, it marked the first time CNN had to use the widescreen format for the interview, according to a network spokesman.

The Kerry campaign responded by announcing that their ads will not make any reference to Laura and Barbara Bush, and certainly won’t include the phrase “The Bush Sluts”.

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