President of MTV "Freezes" While Kanye West Terrorizes VMAs

Seemingly taking a cue from Congressman Joe Wilson, Kanye West violated the sacred decorum usually associated with the Video Music Awards when he took Taylor Swift's microphone while she was giving her acceptance speech last night.  West went on to complain that singer Beyonce deserved the honor, only to be greeted with a chorus of boos from the audience.

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While this was happening, many were wondering why West was allowed to take to the stage so easily.  Why did the broadcast not cut to commercial?  This morning, the answer to those questions became clear.

VMA host Russell Brand, "I wanted to go to commercial, but a decision that drastic had to be deferred to the President, Van Toffler.  I tried to reach him as soon as we realized what was happening.  We saw Kanye making his way to the stage.  Toffler gave us no response, he just froze."

At the time, Toffler was giving a speech to other MTV executives.  A witness describes the scene in the room as: "Total silence.  Someone came in the room and whispered in his ear that Kanye West had just taken the microphone from Taylor Swift.  He just looked stunned, then he went back to reading from his report.  He told us after that he didn't want people to panic."

Toffler could not be reached for comment.

Brand is upset that more wasn't done to prevent a Kanye attack.  "We received intelligence that Kanye West was planning on attacking the awards with douchebaggery, but nobody paid attention to it.  We even knew to focus on the stage, because Kanye would want to maximize his audience.  This situation could have easily been prevented.  It's not like he hasn't done this before."

Comedian Mike Myers agrees that more should be done to prevent future Kanye West attacks.  "When he said 'George Bush doesn't care about black people' you saw the shock on my face.  I was caught completely off guard.  We should know better now.  We should have learned.  I know I'll never forget."

MTV Begins Filming For "The Real World: Abu Gharib"

The MTV network is taking reality television to a whole new level, with their new season of The Real World, now filming in Abu Gharib prison in Iraq. The setting should be familiar to anyone that's watched the news, read the paper, or interacted with humans in the past few weeks.

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MTV executives felt that the casts of previous seasons of the popular show were spoiled, and had too much "cool stuff". "We decided it was time to go back to basics," said MTV programming executive Randall Plassky.

Cast members on the show will be housed in the same prison made famous by several of our finest men and women. "We wanted them to be in a place with a lot of creativity around them,""said Plassky. "I mean, look at those pictures! Iraqi Rodeo! I wish we had thought of that first!"

Rich Jarvis is one of the new cast members, and has said that it's always been a dream of his to be on the show. "Ever since the first season, I pictured myself in a cool house, with like a jacuzzi and stuff. But dude, this house blows."

Unlike other residents of the prison, The Real World cast members are allowed to room together, and even have some say in what goes into the decoration of their rooms, called "cells".

In another twist, the employees of the prison don't know that the cast members are filming a television show. One of the employees, Jimmy Killington, said that they were so used to people taking pictures and videos that they don't even notice cameras anymore. "We make a lot of movies, so it wasn't really strange. We did wonder why all the sudden there were hot chicks as prisoners."

The employees try to make the time fun for the prisoners by playing games with them. One of the games they play is "Hide the Glowstick". Unfortunately, this game loses its appeal after the first few times. Apparantly, they always hide the glowstick in the same place.

Rich wasn't very happy with the "glowstick game". "At first I thought we were going to have a rave party," he said. "Boy, was I wrong."