Written by Jake Novak
(Rome, Italy) Achieving a life-long dream, the wooden puppet Pinocchio turned into a true flesh and blood boy today and immediately announced his intentions to sue pop star Michael Jackson for molestation.
[caption id="attachment_262" align="alignright" width="218" caption="Tell me lies, puppet!"]
[/caption]"Now that I'm a real boy, I can finally get some recourse for the years of abuse I've suffered at the hands of Michael Jackson," said a tearful Pinocchio at a news conference arranged outside his home in a quiet section of Rome. "Maybe my suffering will help stop other boys, both real and puppet, from being hurt by a man who hides behind his fame," he added.
Pinocchio's lawyers offered reporters detailed information about the alleged abuse.
"Mister Jackson lured Pinocchio to the Neverland Ranch with promises of candy and amusement park rides, but things rapidly deteriorated from there. In fact, we have evidence that Mister Jackson intentionally encouraged Pinocchio to lie so his nose would grow longer... something that was used for a myriad of vile sexual reasons," said Raul Felder, a civil lawyer working with the plaintiff.
