People who don't live in the Northeast have had trouble understanding just how devastating Hurricane Sandy was to the area. The Fake News, through the generosity of Mark Davis, has obtained a diary from one of the survivors. We cannot verify its authenticity, but we present it to you unedited. Here are entries 4-6 (out of 11)Entry 4: lunchtime. With provisions running low, the family had to make a decision. Although morbid to most, we decided to draw straws to see who was going to make the ultimate sacrifice so the others could eat well and live. Unfortunately, that poor soul was me. As a result, I was forced to turn down other better food and eat a ham and cheese sandwich, a disgusting thought considering the age in which we live. At this rate, we may all be reduced to eating pbj sandwiches in 2-3 days. I forced down the sandwich only to find that my dessert was fun sized peanut M&Ms, and we all know there is nothing fun about that quantity of candy.
Entry 5: full-fledged nightfall brings the most barbaric conditions yet. With only the light of a flashlight, I took the most dreadful shower one could imagine. The water had not the capacity to reach scorching hot levels, and I curtailed my regular 25 minute shower to a mere ten minutes because of the fear that the water may turn cold upon 10-20 minutes more of use. Then, when exiting the shower, I found the temperature to be 3 degrees cooler than what I would consider comfortable shower exiting temperature. The barbarity only increased as I went upstairs to find that someone had ate all the chocolate ice cream sandwiches, forcing me to settle for mint ice cream sandwiches. The dark is dreary and oppressive, and as I write this, the generator kicks off with my game unsaved. Can I go on knowing that 2 hours worth of playing has been for nothing? Time will only tell.
Entry 6: all hope is almost lost. As I was exploring mothership zeta, the generator kicked off a moment, making half of my exploration meaningless. The loss in morale has made me decide to explore the wasteland in search of power and internet. With only a poptart, cereal, and wawa chicken sandwich in my stomach, I venture into the unknown in a likely vain and futile expedition to find just a sliver of hope and lost morale.
Earlier entries here.
*This is clearly (hopefully) meant to satirize those complaining about mild inconveniences, not to trivialize those with serious needs. Please donate to help Hurricane Sandy victims here.
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