Keith Randell, a 23 year old temp worker, allegedly fooled his girlfriend into thinking that the movie they were seeing was the Vin Diesel action movie “XXX”. Reports indicate that the movie he brought her to instead was the slightly less popular, “Midgets and Japanese Schoolgirls 14.”
Patricia tells us what happened: “Keith said that he wanted to go see the new Vin Diesel movie. I normally prefer romantic comedies, but I figured that I might be able to show him that I’ll adapt for him. I thought that I could use the episode as a bargaining tool to maybe get him to go down on me once in a while. Just a little tongue action every now and then is all I wanted. Imagine my surprise when the movie started and I see these 3 female midgets going at each other with strap-ons and stuff. It did turn me on just a bit, but don’t tell Keith, OK?”
Keith thinks that Patricia is overreacting by refusing any attempt at sex, refusing to hear his side of the story, and generally “being a humorless bitch.”
Sex expert Dr. Wat Chu Fuk agreed to provide his opinion on the matter. “Keith wanted his girlfriend to join him in watching adult entertainment. This in and of itself is not the problem, but the way he went about it is all wrong. He should have had a frank discussion with Patricia, telling her how he thinks that viewing erotic movies can help to develop their sexual relationship. Also, what the fuck was he thinking? Midgets? He should have picked something more female friendly. Maybe the Pam and Tommy Lee video. I can’t think of any female that wouldn’t like that.”
Keith still can’t believe that his girlfriend fell for a ruse that he thought “had no chance of working”. He explains, “At first I thought that she’d see right through it. I didn’t think that she’d fall for it, but I must admit that it was pretty damn funny. It’s almost worth the entire no sex thing, if she keeps holding out, I got money. Hookers don’t cost that much.”
Patricia is secretly searching for a new boyfriend without Keith’s knowledge, because she wants to “still live there and stuff. Do you really think I want to move back in with my parents?”
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